Music video - First draft feedback

Most of the feedback our first draft received was really positive, with lots of people noting that the video is interesting and that they did not get bored watching it - I was extremely happy with this, as the main aim for our video was to create something people had not really seen before. Additionally, there was a lot of praise for our performances, which again made me happy as good characterisation was essential in our video and we seemed to have pulled it off well.
Positive comments:
"Good TV effect"
"First effect looks good - really trippy"
"Characterisation + acting was perfect"
"Transitions between each shot flows - ghosting effect matches trippy theme"
"Extremely interesting - never got bored"
"Love your mise en scene a LOT"

Constructive criticism mainly consisted of people noting that one of the shots nearer the end went on for too long and needed a cut somewhere, which I agree with. Additionally, some said the kaleidoscope effect at the start needed to be cut down slightly.
There were also a few notes that suggested editing some of Phoebe's shots in order to heighten the contrast and brightness, which is a goal of mine for the final draft.
Critical comments:
"Take out the background noise" (an editing slip)
"Shots of Phoebe going crazy could be broken up with some quick (sped-up) shots in between"
"Could sharpen some parts"
"Some editing needs to be cut more suddenly with the music"
"Needs more shots of Lucy|"